How To Love Your Flaws
July 29, 2018
I want to start off by saying I’m so excited to be featured on the I Am Confidently Me Blog! Today, I want to talk about the importance of loving your flaws and what that means for your future. Before we get into that, I want to tell you a little bit about the person speaking to you!
WHO: My name is Tiara Nicole and I am the founding CEO of Nicole’s Network.
WHAT: I am committed to serving others through my personal testimony and I motivate others to consistently work towards self-development in order to find freedom in the most authentic version of themselves.
WHEN: Daily inspiration can be found on my social media pages (handles listed below) with weekly #MotivationalMonday video blogs on my YouTube channel!
WHERE: Anywhere you need me to be!
WHY: I believe that if my pain can benefit even just one person, it was worth suffering through!
Now that you know a little bit about me, it’s time to jump into why you’re reading this post! When I think about the subject of loving your flaws, a few cultural references come to mind including Beyoncé’s “Flaws and All” and the Marilyn Monroe quote, “I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” It helps me to remember that it’s perfectly okay to embrace your flaws and love yourself through them. I happen to be a very flawed person, (shocking I know, right?), but over the years I’ve learned to love even my flaws…while consistently working on developing the best version of myself. Before we get into How To…Love Your Flaws I need to clearly state: accepting your flaws does not give you a pass on stagnant growth.
- Get to know yourself…flaws and all!
So often we underestimate the importance of this step, you have to know yourself in and out and it’s pretty much necessary in order to love your flaws. When my self-love journey truly began it started with truly getting to know myself and having a deep understanding of my strengths, weaknesses, and flaws. I locked myself in my room and spent hours secluded from the world (no TV, music, phone, social media, or any sense of time). I read through old journals, read my bible, and journaled my thoughts.
It was such an eye opening experience, which allowed me to see what I do well, what I’m struggling with, and what I need to do to get better. One thing I learned in that intense alone time was that every area that served as a frustration in my life, I’d been extremely inconsistent in my efforts towards improving. Following that time, I made a conscious decision to truly get to know who I was, what I liked, and what I wanted to accomplish. I began to make intentional steps in the direction of my goals and worked diligently towards loving myself…flaws and all!
- Determine which flaws can be fixed or improved
Not every flaw of yours can be fixed or improved and determining which can is going to save you a lot of time and energy. Once you know which flaws you actually have control over (i.e. financial management, inconsistency, or unproductivity), create an action plan to make positive change. Don’t know where to start? When it comes to making change in multiple different areas I suggest starting with the easiest to fix or the most important area to fix. For me, starting with the easiest created the greatest momentum and excitement as I began to see the positive results along the way.
There are going to be challenges in this life and I don’t want you to get into the place of consistently criticizing yourself, because the world will do enough of that for you. I want you to identify your flaws and make consistent efforts in the right direction but take things one step at a time. Try to avoid overwhelming yourself by taking on too many personal development projects, take things one day at a time and improve one step at a time. Progress is a slow process and you want to make sure the progress is sustainable, sometimes when we try to do too much too soon we’re unable to keep those results long term.
- Learn to accept and embrace the flaws that cannot change
As you’re reflecting on your flaws, you will learn there are some flaws you cannot realistically change. Those are the very things you need to learn to embrace and accept the things you cannot change…it’s a part of who you are! For me, those flaws included embracing being light skinned (yes light skinned people can have colorism issues too), my height, and even something as simple as my name. Granted I can probably change some of those “flaws” if I had the right money or access, but instead of getting frustrated with things I can’t really control…I decided to embrace it!
What are the things about yourself that you wish could be different, but you can’t seem to change? Yes, even THAT! Those are the very flaws you are going to have to embrace and learn to thank God for making you the very way He did! Everything happens for a reason and once you learn to accept that, you learn to stop fighting things you have zero control over. Instead I challenge you to begin seeking reasons you may have certain quirks built innately in your being. As you begin to answer that question “why am I built this way”, you will grow closer to your true purpose and you’ll get closer to understanding why you were placed on this earth.
- Be you…everyone else is already taken
There are many people I look up to in this world, particularly in the world of being a Motivational Speaker. While I learn so much from these and even more so from their stories, one thing I know for sure is that I can only be the best version of myself. I can apply the lessons they learned through their lives, I can take their advice, and I can yield to their caution…but I cannot in any way become them. I admire so many individuals and learn so much from those who have come before me, but I have no other choice but to be myself. And when I realize I’m “stuck” being myself, I begin to embrace that and find ways to love every bit of who I am. That includes being dramatic, emotional, stubborn, and at times childish…but that also includes being hardworking, loving, giving, and supportive.
If you are unclear about who exactly you are, that needs to be your first priority. Do not spend another day on this earth unsure of who you are, what your purpose is, or what you want in this life. I refuse to believe that you were put on this earth to be stagnant and unproductive…you were meant for much more! Live your life intentionally and grow in the direction of your purpose. You cannot control anyone on this earth…except yourself! Love exactly who you are while consistently seeking ways and opportunities to become a better version of yourself. Your best was only good enough for yesterday!
- Live your BEST life!
What does your “best life” look like? What is the one thing you’d like to do more of? What do you wish you could do more of? What does it look like for you to be completely happy? Who do you surround yourself with that brings the best out of you? Your “best life” is found somewhere in the answers to those questions. Once you know clearly what your best life looks like, make an intentional effort to grow in that direction every single day. If you feel like you’re not living your best life be sure to fight for it until you feel like you’re there. You have every right to live your best life and anyone who tries to stop you from doing so doesn’t deserve your time or energy!
Are you looking to create a better life for yourself? I offer a 5-week Development Boot Camp offering guidance and accountability in the areas of Spiritual Growth, Professional Development, Financial Freedom, and Physical Health. Visit https://nicolesnetwork.acuityscheduling.com/ to schedule your free consultation! Additionally, you can find me on social media at:
Instagram – @TiaraNicole1011
Twitter – @TiaraNicole1011
YouTube – Nicole’s Network
Facebook – Nicole’s Network
Website – https://www.NicolesNetwork.net