My Confidence Journey
February 24, 2018
I have always been a child with a big personality.
I loved to laugh.
I loved to dance.
I loved eating sweets and had a big smile.
I loved to wear sweats, and I loved dressing up.
And yes, I’ve always had a full head of hair.
What’s interesting, is that if I were to describe myself now, I would do so in the exact same way. Each one of those statements is still true:
I have a big personality.
I love to laugh and dance.
I love sweets and have a big smile.
I wear sweats and dress up.
And yup, my hair is still full.
But what about the girl in the middle of who I was then and who I am now? I would say she was a combination of all of those things, but also lacked an important quality…
My story is one where words and conversations played a powerful role in shaping who I thought I was. I received so many messages that I struggled to comprehend and ultimately, my opinion of myself became defined by the opinions of others.
I was the young girl who was always worried about why guys didn’t like her. With all of the interactions, experiences, and mixed messages I was told growing up, I created theory after theory about what was wrong with me – “I’m not black enough”, “I’m too fat”, “I don’t put out”, and so on.
I spent years either not liking who I was or trying to change who I was just to get the attention of any guy that I liked to like me back. It was tough and it eventually led me to make decisions that weren’t aligned with my core values and who I really wanted to be.
I wasted so many years adapting and changing myself, trying to win the love and affection of a man. I finally found one, even got married, but it failed because I was still missing the one understanding I should have had from the start: loving me exactly as I am.
I didn’t grow up learning about self-love or knowing what it meant to feel confident. Instead, I grew up in a world of constant criticism (from myself and from others) that eventually wore me down until I hit rock bottom. I thought I had won the game of love and finally got what I was searching for, but my fairytale burst and I was left wondering how I ended up in such a dark place hating who I was.
I now know that was exactly where I needed to be because it birthed in me a journey. I was forced to take a deep hard look inside myself and figure out, “Who is Deena and what does she really want?” My eyes were opened to the world of self-love and I took on new experiences that would introduce me to grace, forgiveness, strength, and ultimately, confidence.
I believe I am not alone in this journey and that there are many people out there who were or are on a similar path. That’s why I started this blog and this brand called “I Am Confidently Me”. I want to share what I’ve learned and all of the tools and resources that have helped me along the way.
I want to teach other women and young girls how to give themselves grace and help them to embrace and love every aspect of themselves, flaws and all.
My journey is not over, as I know yours will not be either, and that is part of the loving me process. My vision is that you will come here and gain inspiration, encouragement, and actionable tools that will empower your sense of self. Some days we may talk about our minds, other days our spirit, and others it could be our style, our interests, or simply what we’re loving at the moment. Either way it will be focused on us and not others, focused on you and not them.
I am so excited to build this Confident Community with you! I look forward to the day when we are all shouting proudly, “I am confidently _____!” (insert your name or favorite quality).
I’ll start. My name is Deena, and I am confidently me!
Let’s build this Confident Community together! Connect with me on Instagram.